Josh Kerr absolutely rips on a surfboard. I should know, I was having a coronary in the announcing booth at The Quiksilver Pro NY surf contest last week when Kerrzy decided to go apeshit and turn his heat into a video part. These pro-model shorts are an undergarment of sorts. Meant to be worn under your board shorts to keep the boys in check. They act as a compression short. This can be very important if you suffer from the dreaded long nut* syndrome or if you are going anywhere that sea lice can sting you on your pee pee.
* From Urban Dictionary
Long Nut: when a man’s scrotum becomes stretched out over time and hangs lower than it should.
i.e.-you know you have long nuts when you get a temperature reading of toilet water whenever you take a number two.
potential causes: inadequate support for the hairy beanbag during impact sports
Quit Mad Stop trunks have a vintage beach look I think would look great with a mustache and a single fin. If you’re looking to accessorize your facial hair and have already done the cut-off jeans and fixed gear bike, this may be your next step to making everyone at the beach believe you’re from Brooklyn.
Element wants you to know it’s ok to skateboard in boardshorts. Usually a clowned upon offense, they have a new video showing someone doing a back tail slide in a pool wearing a pair of Ready Aim Stripe trunks. I think there are far too many rules about what you can and can’t do and what makes you look like a kook. I say, if you’re having a good time, you should wear a speedo.
Quiksilver will be responsible for some heated chest-puffing exchanges at the local watering hole this summer. Your favorite NFL teams licensed on Quiksilver’s Diamond Dobby trunks. This summer, it’s the Chargers and the Oakland Raiders. I know Pipeline charger and over-sized man-baby Reef Macintosh almost tinkled himself when he got his new San Diego Chargers trunks in the mail.
Quik’s Cypher board shorts have little plastic squirt guns on them. That’s why they’re called the squirters. I knew someone we called “The Squirter” in high school … although, for a totally different reason.
Normally, I wouldn’t go near Metal Mulisha’s clothing line with a ten foot, tattoo-covered, stripper pole. However, due to the excitement everyone’s having over beer carriers, I’m making an exception. The D-Lush board short is the Lake Havasu special. Load ‘em up with beer and make really poor decisions all day long.
When I hear the words Oakley and Blade, I think mullets, the late 80s and neon pink. Seems now, Oakley wants you to think of men’s trunks. The Blade trunk features a removable inner compression short keeping sea lice from stinging you on your pee stick. A really good thing if you’re in the tropics…nobody likes a stinging hotdog.
Have you ever thought you had a better idea for surf trunks than Quiksilver? Well, here’s your chance to put up or shut up. Design your own boardies with a ton of options. I designed a pair the other day … I really did.
Put some butts on your butt. Reef has always been known as the company with the asses in the ads. Well … they’ve taken their successful formula and dropped it on some trunks in time for summer.