Ok, $500k for a surfboard? Does this board give you a massage and a handy while you ride it? Wait, it doesn’t? So what the heck does it do to cost 500 thousand dollars?  If you have to ask, then you can’t afford it. Actually, nobody can afford it that surfs. Well, maybe like 7 people.  Ding repair has to be a bitch on that thing!

Are you really into True Blood? If so, this might be your surfboard of choice. Actually, I kind of think it has more of an Adam’s Family vibe. One thing’s for sure, coffin rides will be that much more legit.

Have you ever body surfed? No … not riding the whitewash on your belly. But actually riding on the open face of a wave with a weird rippling feeling on your tummy. It really is a unique experience. If you have doubts on how rad it can be, check out Mark Cunningham bodysurfing at Pipe. It’s amazing. Viper makes some of the best fins out there for both body-surfing and body-boarding. Get some and get barreled on waist high days.

The Kookbox Diamond Twinny is built to perform. Joel Tudor rips the sack out of any wave he encounters on one of these. Take the new school approach to any wave, while riding a classically-inspired shape.

Summer means small waves. You need a groveler board for those double over ankle days. Try this JS Mystery. Transworld Surfing says it’s totally awesome.

Finless surfboards provide the ultimate glide in the water. The learning curve is steep, but once overcome it’s an indescribable ride. These boards take the Alia experience and make it a bit more user-friendly.

Ok, where is the Fred Rubble Channel Islands info? I’ve been hearing whispers about this new, amazing board for weeks now. It’s almost summer. Time for an impulse buy at my local surf shop. Hopefully, not followed shortly thereafter by a fire sale of the said board!

Are you lazy or just have T-Rex arms? If your upper body strength is that of Andy Dick, you may want to look into this water-jet powered long board. As if stand-up paddle dudes weren’t enough of a pain in the line up, now there will be some guy drinking coffee, sitting indian-style, snaking you into the set waves.

Northern California’s Hess Surfboards is making some worthy quad fishes. Not to mention, the finished product looks like wall art. I particularly like the Singer model. Created in conjunction with artist & surf journeyman, Thomas Campbell. Trying to find “the board” that will work in varying sizes and shape of surf is really what everyone is seeking. The Singer is a work in progress, where someone else has done most of the work. Is this a quad quiver killer? Only one way to find out.

The first thing I think of when looking at Meyerhoffer’s longboard is: Where is the giant Italian ice? I want to use this board to eat it. I mean, seriously, it looks like the little wooden spoon you get from the ice cream man in the beach parking lot. I wonder if that was the inspiration? At any rate, it’s cool to see Meyerhoffer pushing surfboards that perform.